If you’re not already following Jenny Lawson’s (TheBloggess) Twitter feed of people’s awkward confessions, you’re severely missing out. I think I’ve done every single thing people have written about, at some point. I’m THAT awkward. Case in point…
A text conversation…
Me: Soooooo, I saw a kid walking in my building wearing a nice dress shirt and a tie, so I said, ‘Well, don’t you look handsome today!’.
Me: Turns out it’s not a kid…it’s a new 23yo substitute.
Tracy: Oh no…
Me: The look on his face… I went from friendly mom-figure to cougar in about 2 seconds flat.
Tracy: Awesome. Enjoy sexual harassment class. Again.
Okay, so I *might* have a well documented school-supply hoarding situation. Bottom line: if it’s on deep discount, I’ll buy it, and at any given moment, I am completely capable of opening my own OfficeMax. My coworker used to just find my stash impressive, but now when I text her my victories, she just finds it concerning.
Me: Target clearance! I just scored 77 spiral notebooks for $8!!!
Michelle: Okay, that’s awesome, but how many can you possibly use?
Me: I use them!
Michelle: You used maybe 20 last year.
Me: See! I’m covered for almost 4 years!
Michelle: And the 200 you already have in the closet?