You Don’t Even Want To Know How The Parrot’s Involved.

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Me: My mother is watching some BBC period drama on Netflix. The giggling and whining about dowries is killllling me.

Ryan: Have you even seen The Quiet Man? ┬áThat’s my kind of take on dowries. Beer and fighting, just like God and the Irish intended.

Me: Well, I come with my own Waterford and a paid-off college education, if that does it for you.

Ryan: I have a box of my grandmother’s china and a baseball signed by the 1979 Pittsburgh Pirates.

Me: I can’t resist a good baseball, especially when it’s been handled by pirates.

Ryan: Generally, I’m against letting pirates touch my balls.

Me: It’s the hook-hand, isn’t it?

Ryan: It is now.