Xavier: “I don’t remember this movie being so rapey.”
Liam: “Um, yeah…there are consent issues all over this thing.”
Xavier: “It’s like they think setting sexual assault to song makes it allowable.”
Liam: “Seriously, this is just a bunch of hillbillies kidnapping women they can’t have, only instead of a cargo van, they have a horses and a wagon.”
Me: “Well…so much for family movie night.”
***Seriously though…glad the consent conversations seem to be paying off.***
Liam: “What was the name of that actor who did the Lincoln commercials?”
Xavier: “Matthew McConaughey.”
Liam: “What was he even in? Why is he even famous?”
Xavier: “He was in Interstellar, and grown-up women find him attractive.”
Liam: “Mom, do you find him attractive?”
Me: “You mean Matthew McConagh-heeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy.”
Xavier: “Jesus, mother.”
April 30, 2016
cars, Children, entertainment, Family, funny, Home, Humor, Interstellar, Lincoln, Matthew McConaughey, movies, parenting, sex
Ryan: “Has Matthew ever been with a woman?”
Me: “No, he’s what we refer to as a ‘Gold-star Gay’. He’s only been with dudes.”
Ryan: “Never tried it out, huh?”
Me: “He refers to the vagina as ‘The Eye of Sauron’. Vaginas never had a chance.”
January 27, 2016
dating, funny, Humor, lgbt, Lord of the Rings, love, movies, Relationships, sex, Tolkien
(As my son saw me casually glance at a very well-built man jogging shirtless.)
Xavier: “I saw that.”
Me: “So did I.” (giggling)
October 16, 2015
Casino Royale, Children, Daniel Craig, Family, Humor, James Bond, kids, men, movies, parenting, Relationships, sex
Me: Look! Campbell’s Soup is even getting involved in Star Wars!
Ryan: Jeez. Is anyone NOT jumping in on this marketing? What are they going to merchandise next?
Me: Chewbacca Condoms? Don’t mind if I do!
Ryan: Way better than Han Solo Condoms. The name alone doesn’t suggest a partner.
Me: Do you think he and Chewie ever…you know. They were were space sailors after all. Any port in a meteor storm.
Ryan:If you don’t stop, I’ll start speculating about how big Hagrid’s penis was, again.
September 8, 2015
Campbell's, Chewbacca, dating, Food, Hagrid, Harry Potter, Humor, merchandising, movies, Relationships, sex, Shopping, Star Wars
Ryan and I came of age in the 80’s-90’s, and both have an deep affection for West Coast rap from that era, despite being a pair of pasty, middle-class dorks with zero street cred. We’ve been trying to find a time to see Straight Outta Compton for two weeks, with no success, but THIS WEEKEND…it will finally happen, thus this conversation.
Me: Movie and dinner? Hardcore couch makeout, after?
Ryan: Tomorrow, yes? Are we finally going to see our movie?
Ryan: Did you just emoji NWA?
Me: Yes, yes, I did.
Ryan: *slow clap*
August 29, 2015
dating, emojis, Humor, love, movies, music, NWA, rap, Relationships, Straight Outta Compton
(As we all sit in our underwear, watching Netflix.)
Xavier: “Mom, what’s the best kind of movie?”
Me: (sappy voice) “The kind I watch with youuuuuuuu.”
Xavier: “No. Comedies.”
Liam: “Way to miss the point, Xavier. Good luck dating.”