(Yet another late night text conversation with Ryan that goes awry.)
Ryan: Morgan just informed me that she’s never having children, because Star Wars 3 freaked her out.
Me: She should be more freaked out about how awful that movie was, but maybe, as a father, that’s an enviable position for you to be in. “That’s right, Morgan…SEX KILLS.”
Ryan: It’ll be like when C. Everett Koop said it, and ruined the sex lives of all American teenagers throughout the 80’s. Never trust a man with a beard, but no mustache. It’s unnatural.
Me: Yes, the 80’s…where we all kept it in our pants for fear of death and I owned two pairs of jelly shoes.
Ryan: Nice. Parachute cargo pants. I owned three pairs in different colors.
Me: OMG. I’m dating you.
Ryan: Oh, but I looked goooooooooooood.
Me: I think we just found the real reason you couldn’t lose your virginity in the 80’s.