And This Is Why Women Resort To Cat-Ownership

Standard

Linney: Dude.  Are you ready for me to be online dating?  This gem arrived this morning.

Linney Date

Me: W. T. Actual. Fuck.

Linney: Hefty.  It’s got…heft.

Me: Better than ‘girthy’?

Linney: Yes. Or ‘pencil thin’.

Me: ‘Slim-dicked wrestler seeks soul mate.’

21 thoughts on “And This Is Why Women Resort To Cat-Ownership

  1. When the very first thing a man lists in his “about him” section is about his unit “by your side” is not what he wants to join.

    Also, what the actual fuck? This sounds like he’s telling you that he is not only well endowed, but that he can dead lift your ass and body slam you if you don’t cooperate! Holy moly!!!

    • That and he’s going to wind up on a watch-list. And I didn’t realize where the quote was from, so thank you! 🙂 I thought it was just someone trying to be poetic before he mentioned his giant schwanz.

  2. Looked up synonyms for hefty, after I stopped giggling about the trash bag. Came across cumbersome, awkward and bulky. Not sure that is what you want in a relationship… ? –Curt

  3. I’m just catching up now…. Considering what I’ve been through online dating since, I actually miss the sweet, “here, let me tell you like it is..” straightforwardness of my main man here, Hugh Heftner……;)

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