Me: Urban Cookie has the new fall flavors out! You need to try the caramel apple, it’s AMAZING.
Ryan: Everything they make is amazing. They kick Sprinkles’ ass.
Me: Sprinkles is a stupid name, anyway. It’s a name for the world’s shittiest pony.
Ryan: I think my daughter had that My Little Pony.
Me: Was its Cutie Mark a dick?
Ryan: If it was, I’d buy twelve of them.
Me: As long as I get one of them.
Ryan: Fine. Thirteen.