I’m Going To Be Banned From Yet Another Business.


Me: You know that feeling when you realize that you narrowly missed a close call with disaster and/or death?

Ryan: Um, yeah…are you okay!?

Me: I just had one of those at Home Depot.

Ryan: Power tool demo?  Something almost land on you?

Me: A young guy was helping me in the gardening section…

Ryan: Yeah….

Me: And I caught myself just in a nick of time…

Ryan: Before you fell over something?

Me: Before I asked him where I could find a “hand cranked seed spreader”.

Ryan: HA HA HA HA HA!!!  You are the living inspiration for every bad piece of porn dialogue ever written.

28 thoughts on “I’m Going To Be Banned From Yet Another Business.

  1. barbaramullenix

    Sigh. Is there anyplace where they don’t have your picture posted at the security desk? I am in awe of the way your mind works!

  2. Doug in Oakland

    According to Amazon there’s the “hand crank seed spreader” and the larger “handcrank broadcast spreader” and I know just what they are because my dad used one on a pasture when I was a kid to sow alfalfa seeds. I seem to recall getting in trouble when I was six for using it to blow sawdust all over the garage…

  3. it only becomes bad porn if the… associate… were to answer with something equally bad. If he comes up with something smart and catchy; I’ll e-mail you my home e-mail and mobile.

  4. Hahahaha! That was awesome…
    Sometimes they’re so young and dumb that it makes me wonder if they’d even get it. I had an old electrician once ask me if the Epilady I brought in for him to repair was a vibrator. Not sure why I’m sharing that, actually… Seems relevant somehow. :/

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