My darling Ryan is soon to be turning 43, which apparently has been noted by some dastardly marketing software, prompting this text.
Ryan: Okay, is it right to get indignant if you get a welcome letter from AARP? NOT what I was looking forward to for my birthday.
Me: Awwww, honey, yes. And ridiculous because you’re too young to even get a membership.
Ryan: Okay, that makes me feel a little better. Still. Hurtful. Hang on…I have to yell at some kids to get off my lawn.
Me: At least AARP wants you?
Ryan: Great, I’m wanted by a paramilitary organization with walkers.
Me: If it makes you feel better, I’m with Danielle, and she says last week she got a coupon for a discount on her own cremation.
Ryan: Jesus Christ. She wins.
***For my non-American friends…AARP is the American Association of Retired Persons.