If I Have To Claim You, I’m Dyeing Your Hair Red, and I Get To Beat You.

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(On our field trip last week…)

Me: “Hey…behave. We’re in public and people are going to think you’re mine.”

Kid: “Ohhhh, it’s about to get real embarrassing for you, then.”

Me: *sigh*

34 thoughts on “If I Have To Claim You, I’m Dyeing Your Hair Red, and I Get To Beat You.

  1. My son and step-son used make faces and act goofy in the back seat whenever we went through a drive-through. Or there was the time they bellowed the song “Downtown” by Petula Clark out the window as we drove through downtown San Diego. I would have had better odds of non-embarrassing behavior picking up random children. In there defense, I started bellowing “Downtown” first.

  2. Mark

    Damn, if that wasn’t entirely awesome from start to finish! First of all, that meme was hilarious. And then the conversation.

    I’m white and my ex-wife is Spanish/Mexican so our daughter has a better skin-coloring than me (easier to tan etc.)

    Anyhow, there was one time my daughter and I were out shopping and she was having a bad day and we were in the parking lot heading into the store and I wanted to correct her for acting out. Thing is, there were a lot of people in that same section of parking lot and I didn’t want to chance my daughter having a stroke of genius and saying, “Stop touching me, you’re not my daddy!”

    I totally played that scenario out in my head while walking towards the store. Needless to say, she got away scott-free! hehe

      • Mark

        Yeah, lol

        In elementary school they were always the meanest bullies probably because they WERE smacked up side the head so much! Delete this if you wish of course. I don’t want to upset parents with cute red-headed children.

        And for the record, red-headed women are some of the most amazingly-attractive women especially if they were opposites, like red-hair with green eyes and freckles; gotta have the freckles!

  3. Randstein

    Another hilarious bit of reality! My mother was very young and was often mistaken for an older sister because of her youth and petite stature. She had no problems executing a public discipline program that made one’s fanny glow from a good blistering. I heard someone comment as she marched me out the door of the grocery for a gross violation of good order and discipline that they hated to see what would happen when my sister turned me over to my mother. Mom laughed and then didn’t have the heart to spank me because she didn’t want to ruin the mood. I lived in spite of all my efforts to get myself returned to sender.

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