I Am So Stupid, I Can’t Even Avoid Someone Who’s Probably Avoiding Me

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Me: “So who wants to hear about how I’m the most embarrassing person alive?”

Tracy: “I do, I do!”

Me: “You know how I’m basically blind in the dark?”

Tracy: “Ohhhhh, this should be good.”

Me: “So, I was handing out pamphlets at the football game, and I walked STRAIGHT up some guy, with the biggest idiot grin on my face, asking if I could talk to him about the budget override…”

Tracy: “And…?”

Me: “He starts talking to me, and I realize he’s the principal I dated summer before last… the one where we broke up and it ended horribly, and we never spoke again.”

Tracy: “Oh, my, God…what did you do?”

Me: “I stammered about how he clearly already knew about the override and then ran for it.”

(deafening silence)

Me: “Nothing?  You’re not going to say ANYTHING about this?”

Tracy: “You exist to make me feel better about myself.”

Me: “I want to argue, and I can’t.”

40 thoughts on “I Am So Stupid, I Can’t Even Avoid Someone Who’s Probably Avoiding Me

    • Ohhhh, we never worked together. Lol. I avoid that like the plague. I never want to work next to anyone’ whose tongue has been in my mouth. And I’m stealing your phrasiogy…it’s brilliant.

  1. Randstein

    Look on the brightside. Mr. P now sits at home fantasizing that you still lust for him and his brain will eat him alive with false notions of how his life has improved. What an intuitively clever move on your part. You win again 🙂

  2. wow, so bad? I say that line about “you exist to make me feel better…” about our soccer national team because we always lost against other countries and I guess now we just exists to make feel better the other countries >__<

  3. Too funny. I’m so blind I recently flipped off & screamed at someone in a car who was flashing their lights at me & then realized after I drove by it was my best friend dropping off my son & trying to tell me hi.

  4. LMAO! The only way that situation could have been any better is if you’d cried, “Oh, look! A flying Kardashian!” while you pointed behind him… and then ran off when he turned around in complete confusion.

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