Proof That Freshmen Have No Woo



Caolinn: “Ugh, there’s this boy that sits next to me in both Programming and German, and at first I thought he was kind of funny, but now I’m just realizing that he’s insanely stupid.  Today, he couldn’t remember any of the intro German verbs, and in programming, he couldn’t even figure out how to open a new file.  Seriously…total idiot.”

Me: “So, who helps him when he can’t do these things?”

Caolinn: “I do.  It’s annoying as hell.”

Me: “Um…have you considered the possibility that he likes you, and is acting stupid to get your attention?”

Caolinn: (pause) “Ohhhhhh…..that would explain a few things.”

Me: “Like?”

Caolinn: “Like how he’s in the STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math), but can’t perform a basic computer function.”

Me: “Who feels like the idiot now?”

Caolinn: “Shut up.”

42 thoughts on “Proof That Freshmen Have No Woo

  1. elitosphere

    If that’s the case, I’m afraid most guys haven’t refined their skills of wooing any further than what they knew as freshmen…

      • elitosphere

        LOL ikr! You should be! It’s either “hey, I have no game… lemme annoy you from juvenile affection” or “hey, I think I have too much game… wanna see my dick?”

      • elitosphere

        If the great Martin Luther King Jr has taught us anything is that the best dreams rarely come true…

        Alas, the perfect ratio of juvenile affection and dick may be counted in that category. Yes, I said “alas”… this shit is THAT tragic.

  2. Doug in Oakland

    I was an idiot when I was a freshman. Why didn’t I ask Diane from guitar class to go out with me? I know she liked me, it was obvious. Our friends even said so. What an ass I was. I’m almost 54 years old and that still bothers me when I think about it. I did eventually get a little smarter about these things. And please, please, please let that last sentence be at least somewhat true…

    • I love that you still remember her name…that is fantastic. I held a candle for Jason in Home Ec. He’s a Republican now…I might have been able to save him from that. Alas, we’ll never know.

  3. whatever happened to pulling her hair/snapping her ponytail tie/teasing her mercilessly, wait till she chases after you absolutely fuming, wait till she gives up, taunts her, makes her chase you again, wait till she gives up for good, then offer her a flower you stole from the principal’s flower bed as a peace offering?
    that technique may or may not have been applied by myself to a few poor 7th grade classmates..

    • That’s soooo two years ago. She’s in ninth now… Lol. And knowing her, she wouldn’t give chase, but would wither them with a look of complete disdain.

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