When He Goes To Jail, I Hope Someone Sexually Violates Him With A Spring Roll

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If you’re American, and you don’t live in a fucking cave, then you’ve heard about Ray Rice roughly every fifteen seconds, for the last month, and not for enviable reasons. So imagine my surprise, when I open my email, this morning, and I see an email entitled “Rice Is Nice!”  Whaaaa?  Who sent this, the She-Was-Askin’ -For-It Society?  Nope…just an ad for Pei Wei, in which they either have the WORST timing of all time, or they’re trying to remind us that before Rice was synonymous with wife-beating…that we found it rather delicious with reheated, faux-Asian shrimp dishes.

Rice

 

Nice work, Pei Wei.  Maybe next week you’ll get lucky and a TNT factory will explode, causing countless casualties, so you can get more attention for your Thai Dynamite Chicken.

21 thoughts on “When He Goes To Jail, I Hope Someone Sexually Violates Him With A Spring Roll

  1. Doug in Oakland

    Then there were the rumors that they were going to replace Goodell with Condi and “fix their Rice problem with another Rice” (instead of a ballpeen hammer) and I was just… No.

  2. WHEN HE GOES TO JAIL, I HOPE SOMEONE SEXUALLY VIOLATES HIM WITH A SPRING ROLL

    That simple statement had me laughing so hard I was clapping like a retarded seal!! Thanks now my entire family thinks my cheese slipped off my cracker! 😉

  3. Willy Nilly

    This is what happens when companies subscribe to Facebook data mining to target consumers with popular products and services. Next in your email will be a book advertisement from Amazon about improving relationships with a Spring Roll. DON’T OPEN IT! You don’t need that in your head all day.

  4. Yep, here I am in non America (and not in a cave either!) doing some learnin’ and stuff just so I can follow what you are blogging about…. and now I’m sorry I did. Thanks 😉

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