If This Isn’t PMS, Next Week Is Going To Be ROUGH.

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My daughter, the soon to be fifteen-year-old, texting me from drama camp…  Note: my daughter and I both have very similar senses of humor, and she knows I think she’s amazing, so don’t send me crazy messages about how we call each other names…we like it…it works for us.

Caolinn: Mom…Mom…Mom

Caolinn: Mom.

Caolinn: MOOOOOOMMMMM!!!

Me: For the love of God, what!?

Caolinn: Pizza Hut took the cookie pizza thing from the Domino’s ad and made it into a thing and I need it NOW.

Me: Ha ha!

Caolinn: Mom, I actually need it. Please take me to get one and I’ll give you ALL MY QUARTERS.

Me: Define “need”.

Caolinn: Need as in I’ll die if I don’t get it.  I will legitimately cease to exist.

Me: I’ll think about it, freakshow.

Caolinn: I’m not a freakshow, I’m a trendsetter, Mother, and I’m also hungry and it’s a goddamn cookie pizza.  How do you not see how IMPORTANT this is!?

Me: Jesus Christ…fine…I’ll get you the cookie pizza.

Caolinn: OH MY GOD!!!  I CAN’T EVEN…I’M SO EXCITED THAT I’M HYPERVENTILATING.

Me: I think when you get home, we need to discuss the impact that drama camp is having on you, and whether this is a good thing for you to be in, or not.

Caolinn: Can’t…breathe…so….happy…

Me: *sigh*

51 thoughts on “If This Isn’t PMS, Next Week Is Going To Be ROUGH.

  1. malka, cpa mom of 2, not a hooker

    This is so many kinds of fabulous. To hell with people that don’t get why it’s funny to call your kid freak show 🙂

  2. Hang on, hang on, hang on! Cookie Pizza, overly dramatic theatrics, and a mother/daughter war of words?!?! Can eyes have an orgasm? Cuz I think mine just did… and there’s this strange bodily fluid leaking from it.

    On a serious note, though, is a cookie pizza a thing? Because, if it is, I’ve never needed something in my life as much as I do with this right now!

      • If you take me to get one of those magically delicious miracle creations, I will give you my most prized possession!! (which may or may not be a half-eaten Pringles chip with a BBQ smudge in the likeness of a hungover Jesus)

      • 1. I just ate it…I’d rather have a cookie from Paradise Bakery…even the teenager called it “Mehhhh…”, but at least she’s off my ass.

        2. That better be in a shadow box with professional framing.

  3. So funny! Love your humour and completely appreciate the way you relate to your daughter. My 4 year old daughter is so dramatic and I wondered if she’d enjoy drama or would that make her unbearable?? Off to see if this cookie pizza can be found in Ireland :o)

    • Ha! If it can, will you PLEASE let me know, because it might be the deciding factor in whether I finally take the kids there next summer. (okay, it’s not at all the deciding factor, but getting a cookie pizza certainly can’t hurt the cause)

  4. Nomibug

    Ha ha, hilarious… You guys remind me of my sister and her 15 year old daughter. Feeling the lurve. Thanks for the giggle.

  5. Seriously? I’m jealous! Sadly, I am that Mom…you know the one…the Mom your kid is mortified by; the Mom who has no sense of humor; the Mom who is sooooooo old she doesn’t even remember what it’s like to be a kid because it was soooo long ago! LOL…reality is I’m actually quite young at 38 years old, but I guess to a 17 year old, it’s ancient. One day, he will realize just how friggin hilarious and AWESOME I really am! 🙂 In the meantime, I will live vicariously through you and your daughter. 😉

    • Ohhhh trust me, most of the time she thinks I’m a giant lameass. It does amuse me, how funny her friends think I am…which of course makes her furious. 🙂 Cheers, fellow secretly cool mom!!!

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