(A text conversation, in which I HOPE autocorrect is to blame.)
Pam: If your students do a presentation for the parents, and the parents get you a thank you…what’s your preference? $10 bouquet flowers or $10 Starbucks card?
Me: Gift card…always the gift card.
Pam: My friend said, ‘flowers are classy’. And I’m thinking fuck classy, three kids in this class ate dicks. The teachers need coffee damn it, not flowers.
Pam: “Are” NOT “ate”!!!
Me: If three kids ate dicks…you’re gonna have to spend more than $10, and might I suggest instead of Starbucks, you put the cash toward some attorney’s fees.