If She Offers To Vaccuum, I’m Demanding Urinalysis

Standard
mlp_tolerate
(Clearly this was written before we left for our cruise…)
While responding to my query of why she was so interested in babysitting her brothers.

Me: “What are you up to?”

Caolinn: “I’m not ‘up to’ anything. Hey, there are kids who are getting pregnant and doing drugs. All I’m doing is, like, watching My Little Pony on Netflix.”
Me: “How is that better?”
Caolinn: “Pega-sister for life, man!!!”
Me: (horrified look) “Maybe you should reconsider the drugs.”

14 thoughts on “If She Offers To Vaccuum, I’m Demanding Urinalysis

  1. I’m sorry this is so possibly totally irrelevant for you ATM but…. Holy fuck woman! I just finished writing reports and I’m looking down the barrel of 249+ parent interviews in 8 weeks time and YOU ARE ON A CRUISE??? To Alaska …. Omg, that’s on MY bucket list!

    Hope you’re having an awesome time while I sit here here in winter rain, dreaming of how good my life could be…

    (ESP if auto correct would have a setting for “it’s Friday, I’ll type whateva the fuck I think is good, too pissed to care 😉)

    • Tans…you HAVE to do it! It’s amazing. You’re sitting there on your patio, watching an ice berg calve…AMAZING. I’ll post pics when I get onto shore this weekend. Seriously, TOTALLY worth it.

  2. I have a 14-year-old daughter who is more responsible and disciplined than I am (not a high bar), and it is a little scary. Gets her homework done without reminders, helps get her little sister ready for soccer practice, and is polite and respectful to everyone she meets.

    I’m thinking of having her seen by a neurologist,

  3. If MINE actually “cleans” something instead of “making it LOOK LIKE” he’s cleaned something I will probably check his fingerprints; or wherever the entry-wound is for the aliens that took over his body/mind…

  4. Who do the kids who get pestered by their parents for doing drugs and getting pregnant point to to get them out of hot water? “At least I’m not … what? Eating white flour in school lunch? Dating a Russian soldier? Dating a dodgers fan?”

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