I Wouldn’t Say No To A New Ass, However.


(A conversation with Drew, who lives back east, when he found out I’d neglected to tell him my ex was going to be there for a few days.)

Drew: “Why didn’t you tell me that fucker was going to be in town?”

Me: “What…like it matters?  Like you’d actually see him?”

Drew: “Hey, if he’d gotten hurt, we’re the biggest hospital…he could have wound up here.”

Me: “Riiiiight.  What, realistically, could you do to him?”

Drew: “Me?  Nothing.  But I know EXACTLY which one of the residents I’d assign to him.  It’s not murder when it’s an accident, and this kid accidentally kills everyone.”

Me: “You’re the reason I hate hospitals.”

Drew: “You should hate hospitals.  If you’re in a hospital, it’s not because you’re having a good fucking day.”

Me: “It is if you’re getting new boobs.”

Drew: “Are you getting new boobs?”

Me: “No.”

Drew: “Then shut up.”

21 thoughts on “I Wouldn’t Say No To A New Ass, However.

  1. It’s as if you knew I was on my 3rd go around of watching the entire series again! Get outta here man. Stop following me. Let me get back to my 12 hours of Scrubs like I plan to do until the end and before not watching the awful awful spin-off…again. Boobies high five.

  2. Slams hand on buzzer. It’s a ‘the Todd’ reference. I bet Drew would have known that. Saved by Erasure episode mention. I love it too. And now will have in head entire day. I guess there are worse things to have in my head like murder or the final season of Dexter. Not necessarily in that order.

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