At Least My Nameless Stalkers Are Amusing


I’m not sure what’s the most horrifying thing about this text exchange…that it’s real, that I *STILL* have zero idea who I was talking to, or that once I jokingly identified them as my mother…that they stopped talking to me.  If my mother had ANY idea how to load a GIF…I’d find this highly suspicious.

(Note…the pictures are all actually GIFs that were far more horrifying in motion.)




17 thoughts on “At Least My Nameless Stalkers Are Amusing

  1. hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! omg. ‘hi mom’ – great. the whole thing is great. i love that you responded to a complete stranger. i’m also feeling a little sad because I know who One Direction is.

  2. I had some really weird shit cone up from a guy i met months earlier on cupid once. It got pretty creepy. If you have excel, load your cell phone calls into it and sort it by phone number. That’s a quick easy way to know if you know the guy. I eventually called the cops.

    • This is one of those instances in which technology is both awesome and sucks. Seriously, why can’t we just round up all the weirdos and put them on their own island to date amongst themselves.

      • Lol! Love that idea!!! Trouble is “weirdo” is sometimes a relative term. In my case, I tried belittling quips with the guy who stalked me and eventually it got really creepy and very aggressive. I called Verizon and had him blocked. So he used a different phone. after I told him (using his name) that I’d contacted the cops. That was the last of it. Never heard grin him again. The guy was a 6’7″ linebacker. I’m 5’4″. Wasn’t going to take any chances

      • Why is it that I’m reading everything you’re saying, but all I’m getting from it is “tiiiiny penis”? 🙂

        Agreed. No games should be played when they’re huge and psycho. Or just psycho. Or listen to Nickelback.

    • I have no idea! And still no idea who it was. Random? Perhaps. Old student who somehow got my number? Maybe.

      Have fun! (*whispering* “wear a condom”)

  3. Men who talk about how big their penises are usually do so because they know the conversation will end once it’s showtime. Notice I haven’t mentioned mine once…

    Really funny stuff, btw.
    Your posts, I mean. Not my penis.

    • HA! If your penis tells jokes on WordPress…it’s stats will be AMAZING. And I agree with everything above.

      Annnd now if you start a blog, from the perspective of your penis…I want halfsies on royalties.

      • Lol! A blog written from the perspective of my penis? Talk about performance anxiety! 😉

        By the way, the words “halfsies” and “penis” in the same sentence makes me uncomfortable…

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