The Suburban Jungle

Standard
Because wearing a sign of your faith on your thong was just taking things TOO far...

Because wearing a sign of your faith on your thong was just taking things TOO far…

(A conversation with one of my single, straight, male friends…)

Me: “Dude, parent pickup is getting crazy.  It’s like prison-rules out here.”

John: “Are people sagging their pants?”

Me: “What?  No…I live in a really good neighborhood.”

John: “Well, if they’re not sagging their pants, it’s not like prison at all.  Although, if they WERE sagging their pants, they would be advertising that they’re after something more than just picking up their kids.”

Me: “I’m pretty sure that when you’re at parent-pickup with a halter top, breast implants, two pounds of make-up, five-inch heels, and skin-tight jeans with ten-pounds of rhinestones on the ass, that you’re communicating that you’re JUST as available for butt sex, as any given prison inmate.”

John: “Where do your kids go to school again?”

Me: “I’m not telling you, now, pervert.”

4 thoughts on “The Suburban Jungle

  1. ok so first thing i did this morning while having my coffee was look up ‘sagging’ on Urban Dictionary because I didn’t realize there was an actual term for that fashion and I seriously and sadly have nothing better to do. I am so glad I did because it is hilarious and I can’t wait to use it in a sentence with my daughter who will undoubtedly respond with her usual “Mom, no”. I recently responded to one of her texts with lol and was shut down – hard.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s