That’s Some Pig!



So there we were, standing at a restaurant bakery counter in Flagstaff, waiting to be served…when my daughter saw a teensy spider on the arm of her sweater.

Caolinn: “Oh, my, God!  Oh, my, God!  Oh, my, God!  What do I do!?”

Me: (brushing spider off onto the floor)

Caolinn: (Stepping on it)

Me: “Why did you do that?  It wasn’t hurting anyone.”

Caolinn: “It could have climbed on your foot!  And how did it get there?”

Me: “Didn’t you see Charlotte’s Web?  Remember when the baby spiders went into the wind?”

Caolinn: “I hate that book; it was needlessly depressing.  Everything’s finally okay, and then she has to go and die and leave a hundred orphans.  It was a work of fiction…they could have let her live happily ever after.”

Me: “Well, at least she didn’t get stepped on in the middle of a bakery.”

Caolinn: “Mommmmm!”

Me: (shrugging) “Just saying.”

Caolinn: “Well, Charlotte should have lived a long life.”

Me: “Like the one you just stepped on.”

Caolinn: “MOMMMMM!  You’re making me feel bad!”

Me: “Not as bad as the spider.”

Caolinn: *facepalm*

16 thoughts on “That’s Some Pig!

    • She’s feeling very little remorse about anything other than having a mother who feels sorry for spiders. She’s also quick to point out that my compassion doesn’t extend to a number of other bugs. I am a creepy crawlie hypocrite.

  1. Spiders are the worst. But I still can’t kill them. Makes me feel brutal. Also: I’m with your daughter, Charlotte’s Webb is super depressing. The only thing worse is “March of the Penguins.” KILL!

    • Or Bridge To Terabithia…AWFUL. And then we wonder why so many teenagers suffer from depression.

      I have a strict no-kill unless it’s a scorpion or anything that could cause harm. I’m actually super lame about it. You’d think I would consider veganism because of this, but…I’m way too fond of a hamburger.

      • You know, I waited until I was like 24 to read “Bridge to Terabithia” and I think I might have thrown it across the room. *depression*

        Okay– scorpions are evil. They don’t count as life forms, they should be eradicated. Or pummeled to death with bad young adult fiction. Either option works.

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