I Might Hate Everyone Whose Name Starts With A “K”, Now.


Picture 15

Me: “Hey, you know how I always have nightmares to wake me up, during the night, if I have to pee?”

Gina: “Um…yeah.”

Me: “Last night, I had the worst dream ever.”

Gina: “Falling?  Being chased by a serial killer?  Sharks?”

Me: “I was best friends with Kim Kardashian, and she wanted to take a shower, so she asked me to hold the baby, and then the baby started crying, and so I started nursing it.”

Gina: *silence*

Me: “I REALLY had to pee.”

Gina: “Are you sure you don’t do drugs?”

Me: “And the worst part-”

Gina: “It gets WORSE!?”

Me: “Kanye was looking at me like I was the weird one.”

Gina: “I don’t care how fucked up Kanye is, if someone asks you to hold their baby, and you spontaneously start wet nursing it without permission…then you ARE the weird one.”

Me: “Ugh, you’re right.  I need to reevaluate my boundaries.”

Gina: “You need to stop drinking fluids after 6pm, is what you need to do, weirdo.”

6 thoughts on “I Might Hate Everyone Whose Name Starts With A “K”, Now.

  1. I beg to differ with gorilla bananas. it would be no big deal (kinda) – except YOU WERE BFFS WITH KK. oh, and IT WAS HER BABY YOU WET NURSED. on a richter scale of nightmares – that’s about a 10. don’t be comforted, friend. be freaked out.

    • I breastfed the offspring of the world’s biggest oxygen thief and a man whose ego is so large, it can be measured in actual kilograms. I can fall off a skyscraper WITH a serial killer, with sharks swimming below, and it won’t even come close to the horror.

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