Every night, after I tuck her in, my daughter wants me to lay down with her, which inevitably results in the dog (Sully) jumping in the bed, as well.
Me: “Yeah, there’s nothing more relaxing than listening to the dulcet tones of Sully, licking himself. Yeah, that’s it, boy…really get on in there.”
Caolinn: “Hey, he likes to keep himself clean.”
Me: “If he likes to be clean, you’d think he wouldn’t hate baths so much. You’d think he’d be all, ‘Hey, there’s one less day I have to lick my own ass.'”
*moving to get up and go to my own bed*
Caolinn: “You cannot leave on that note. Lay back down and start talking about something that doesn’t involve the dog’s anus.”
Me: “I got nothing.”