(A text conversation with a fellow redhead.)
Kimberly: “I would like you to know that I have been in a shittastic mood all day because of some lunatic, but you made me laugh, and now instead of plotting her murder, I’m only planning non-lethal bodily harm.”
Me: “Ha! Orange looks like shit on our kind. Don’t do it.”
Kimberly: “It really does. I look like a big tomato.”
Me: “If we were wearing orange, we couldn’t even get angry prison sex.”
Kimberly: “If I wind up in tent city, that pink is equally unflattering. Maybe I can convince them to give me a nice Army green to bring out my eyes.”
Me: “Bahhhh ha ha ha! You want prison sex!”
Kimberly: “Hey, I’ve had the same dick for 13 years. Bitch needs a little variety.”
*And in all seriousness, and because it’s SORT OF on topic…if you haven’t subscribed to Netflix to watch Orange Is the New Black…do it immediately. It’s friggin’ fantastic. And, if you’re already there, watch House of Cards, too. It’s like West Wing, but they can say the C-word, Kevin Spacey is super deliciously evil, and mid-season, there is an “adult” scene that is seriously a millimeter from actual pornography. Unless you’re offended by that sort of thing, in which case, I can’t believe you read this blog.
**And in no seriousness whatsoever, but it’s still sort of on-topic…I think that “Felonious Vagina” would make an awesome band name.