I’m Gonna Harass The Sexual Right Out Of You

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(Yes, folks…I’m back at work, doing teacher’s training, in preparation for next year.  Summer, you sweet, sultry bitch…I’ll miss you.)

 

Me: “What are we doing on Friday?”

James: “Technology training in the morning, and sexual harassment training all afternoon.”

Me: “Training?  They want us to be awesome at sexual harassment?”

James: “I’m guessing they want us NOT to do it.”

Me: “So that means we have 48 hours left before we have to cut that shit out.”

(two minutes later)

Me: “Your ass looks nice in those pants.”

James: “Nice tits.”

*high five*

44 thoughts on “I’m Gonna Harass The Sexual Right Out Of You

  1. malka, cpa mom of 2, not a hooker

    The other day my boss asks “what holiday is coming? A client just wished me a happy holiday”
    I shrugged. He says, it’s one of your people. I check my Jewish phone calendar and said nothing you wish anyone a happy for. What’s his name?

    Boss says, xxxviii themen

    Me, semen?

    boss, we have a new employee. Don’t scare her

    Me, wouldn’t it be a riot if his first name was Seymour?

  2. Geraint Isitt

    I miss those sexual harrassment training seminars. The best way to find out who the liberated people are! Use them to advantage people. lol.

    • I wish I could take credit for it, but I farmed that one from the interwebs. It’s both delightful AND disturbing, which is a sweet spot, really. lol

  3. Awesome! LOL Here, we have some imaginary bullshit training called the “Sanctuary” Model (we are even State “Certified” in this imaginary bullshit). Basically, it is something that should be common sense practice, like not beating up your coworkers or screaming like Gunnery Sgt. Hartman, but at the same time it gives all the smart-ass lazyfucks this feeling like if they don’t “agree with” or “like” something, then they don’t have to do it because forcing shit on people is “”un-sanctuary””. We all have to have our own “Sanctuary Plan” on the back of our ID tags, I guess in case someone finds any staff curled up in a ball crying in the fetal position then they will know that Staff A needs to go for a 20-min walk on the nature trail on campus and Staff B needs a liquid lunch and a pedicure.

    Wow. That should be a blog post… LOL :D

    • First of all…I demand you write this into a post, because it’s AMAZING. And secondly, I will sit through any training if it basically gets me a free pass to act hurt and then demand a 90 minute massage and a chocolate fountain to fix me. :)

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