This is what is happening in my house…because it’s just TOO HARD to walk ten feet to annoy the living shit out of your mother.
FML, guys…I’m screwed.
For full effect…you have to picture D’Avonte in floral spandex leggings and a blouse with some sassy sandals and enough costume jewelry to blind someone if caught in direct sunlight…
(Looking over to see her doing some weird squatting motion in my doorway, on her way to lunch.)
Me: “What ARE you doing?”
D’Avonte: “I’m tucking, Ms. M, cuz you know…I don’t have…(whispering)…a vagina.”
Me: “Oh, my, God! Go to the bathroom!”
D’Avonte: “Love you, Ms. M.”
Me: “Love you, too.”
Those of you who know me, know that I have a deep, abiding love of something that I like to lovingly call, “real estate porn”, and now I’m passing my addiction on to America’s youth. While we were eating breakfast, I usually show the kids the news, but last Friday, we went on an MLS site, so I could show them multi-million dollar homes, prompting this…
D’Avonte: “Forty-nine million dollars!? Who has forty-nine million dollars!? And who needs sixteen bathrooms? You only got one ass.”
**NOTE: I do NOT refer to it as “real estate porn” in front of my students…I like my job. Ironically, I don’t think I have a student that hasn’t seen a tremendous amount of ACTUAL porn, but someone has to have some standards in this joint, and sadly, that’s me.**